Wednesday, April 27, 2011

BREAKING: PSYCHICS FOUND

Holy fuck. This one has massive implications. If you've ever gazed out into the great beyond, wondering what's out there... wondering the answers to life's greatest mysteries... the answer may soon be available to you. Zach Morris has found a source who can accurately predict the future and has confirmed that "Cafe shall not last very long at all."

Fuck.

Following the posting, the comments were flooded by Zach using different names all agreeing with each other. Is there anything that Zach Morris can't do? When I came onto the scene he was in Cancun, where he was hit in the head with a softball and subsequently killed hospitalized.

Now we have contact with psychics.

I've reached out to Zach Morris requesting permission to communicate with the psychic. We will update with the answer.

There are many questions I will pose to the psychic, all of which will be updated with answers:
-How did the dinosaurs die?
-What happened to the embryos that Nedry dropped in Jurassic Park?
-Where did the "Dino-Damage" piece from my young T-Rex Jurassic Park action figure go?
-Was the velociraptor really a "clever girl?"
-Will Jeff Goldblum be in an eventual Jurassic Park 4?
-Is it true that ProjectNRT is a failed half-retarded-inbred-accidentally-not-fully-terminated-abortion from Jurassic Park who has lived for at least 30 years while not gaining a single shred of common sense or knowledge?
-Furthermore, why hasn't ProjectNRT gained any grasp of the English language?
-Who shot JR? UPDATE: Kristin shot JR
-How many different personalities will Zach Morris create?
-Is the US stupid enough to vote for Donald Trump?
-What is the actual beef content of Taco Bell's "beef?"
-How is said "beef" so damn good?
-Will George Lucas fist fuck Star Wars again and make more changes for the Blu-Ray release?

If you have additional questions to ask the psychic, please submit them in the comments.

No comments:

Post a Comment