Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Can we get much higher?

I can't resist this one, and why the hell not give the people what they want? The last two SegaReeks blog posts have been more popular than any others and we've had almost 1000 hits in less than a month.

Zach Morris Brian Holzhauer is back in explosive form! I bet you can already tell how much fun I'm going to have and how retarded this is.

Claim #1:
According to Clicky Web Analytics thousands of new readers are discovering Segaleaks on a daily basis.

Fact: There are allegedly about 2 billion internet users worldwide. There are also publicly available website stats over at Alexa! SegaLeaks reach is said to be... ouch. Roughly .000004% of the internet's population. This turns out to be.... 786.6 people every month. That means Alexa was kind enough to count Ringtard! A whole .6 buddy. You're getting there. This means that basically everyone who has visited SegaLeaks moved on through to SegaReeks.


Claim #2-3:
New console and arcade board in development at Sega. Neptune and Naomi 3.
Both systems are based on similar architectures.

Why would they even make the hardware distinguishable? The Naomi was a Dreamcast with more RAM. This would just cost them more money to make hardware that is distinguished. Similar architectures, sure, but it would only be logical for them to be basically the exact same thing except RAM since... I don't know, Sega did this before?

Zach, come see me after class.

Claim #4:
Naomi 3 unveiling date is set for AOU 2012.

Waiiit a fucking minute, wasn't this date always claimed for this year's AOU?

Furiously backpedaling. We're about to start the cycle over. The claims have come up wrong, and they need another year to build up a backlog of bullshit to keep Ringtard reading since... he's the only one not laughing his ass off. Prepare for: MrSega2012, Naomi32012, TornadoTatsuNeptune2012, ProjectNAO2012 and whatever the hell else might be decided upon.

Claim #5-6:
Neptune unveil date shall take place in Spring or early Summer 2012.
A release date of Q4 2012 is planned for both systems (Worldwide).

Sega's Q4 is between December-March. Most consoles are launched around November, PS2 (in Japan) and 3DS withstanding. Even if Sega were secretly building this console, they wouldn't ever have the momentum for a December or March launch.

I drive and own five Ferraris and three of them are Enzos.

Claim #7:
By launching Neptune a year before both Microsoft and Sony, Sega hopes to attain a 50-60% worldwide marketshare within 36 months of launch.

Okay, I'm not going to lie. This one was honestly the reason why I decided to write another blog post. This is one of the dumbest things to ever be said in an attempt to sound like a source. If you'll allow it, some simple math. First, let's just think about the market as it is in 2011. There's 84.64 million Wiis in the world (as of 12-31-10), 50 million Xbox 360s (as of 1-6-2011) and 47.9 million PS3s (as of 12-31-10). Now, if my basic arithmetic skills are right (and they are, I'm not ringtard or Holzhauer) this adds up to a current console market of 182.54 million. This claims that Sega wants a 50-60% market share in 3 years. To make SegaLeaks look a tiny bit less stupid, we'll assume a 50% market share. This gives us 91.27 million consoles or 30.423 million consoles sold a year assuming 3 years. Don't forget that by 2012 the console market will be even larger as well.

Our SegaLeaks friends claim Sega wants a new console to sell faster than the Wii and overtake its market share in 3 years when the Wii hasn't even made it to 90 million in 5 years. If you didn't notice by my bolding, this pretty much discredits everything they've ever said. No company would be stupid enough to think they could pull that off.

Claim #8:
Development of both systems is being overseen by Yu Suzuki and Hiroshi Yagi.

Why the hell would Suzuki oversee its development? He's a game designer. He doesn't know dick about hardware engineering.

Family Guy exudes intelligence compared to this tripe.

Claim #9:
Development began in early 2009. This is when the very first incarnation of SegaLeaks ( appeared. Indeed, we have been privy since the outset.

I like the usage of the word privy. Readers have probably noticed that I favor a large vocabulary when writing. SegaLeaks is akin to reading the cave paintings of a third grader typically. You don't really get more sustenance than a few "Mr." titles in reference to mental constructs and occasionally a "shall." Anywho, if development began in 2009... just no. The Xbox 360 was conceived in early 2003 and came out in... 2005! We're supposed to believe this thing has another year and then some in development with development allegedly beginning in 2009?

9th grade level vocabulary, bad info.

Claim #10:
The chosen GPU is an Imagination Technologies PowerVR Series 6 ROGUE.

Why would they use off the shelf parts? It worked out horribly for them with Saturn.

Google search: "what is the next powervr gpu going to be called?"

Claim #11-12:
CPU details are not yet known, two possible contenders are the Fujitsu Venus and a SuperH Hitachi design.
Ram type and configuration are not yet known.

The CPU is sort of the first thing you'd choose. You don't paint the house before you build it. RAM... meh. Just say it'll be GDDR 3, guys. Nobody who reads this looks into this shit that much.

Bullshit tier.

Claim #13:
Naomi 3 is to use SSD as game media, whilst Neptune shall use Blu-Ray.

Awh, I'm flattered you guys. You see everyone, while I was attempting to troll the shit out of SegaLeaks and destroy the place from the inside, I made the point that using flash media would be retarded because of how expensive it is, and that Blu-Ray would be the only way to go.

I'm a source!

Claim #14:
Neither arcade nor console system shall be capable of real time Ray Tracing as was earlier reported. Reason cited, the CausticTwo unit which was initially thought to be part of the architecture is expected to cost $2,500 per 10,000 batch order when it is released later this year to professional markets. Sega hopes that prices shall have fallen by a significant margin by the end of the decade, making it feasible for use in a successor system (Neptune 2/Naomi 4).

Awh, I'm flattered you guys. You see everyone, while I was attempting to troll the shit out of SegaLeaks and destroy the place from the inside, I made the point that ray tracing was far too processor intensive to be used in a gaming console with where technology is at.

I'm a source!

Claim #15:
As it currently stands the new systems shall be capable of rendering the Unreal Engine 3 demo of GDC 2011 with the greatest of ease.

Uh, okay? The iPhone 4 runs Unreal 3.


Claim #16:
Shenmue 3 is in development for Neptune. Title shall be ready for a Q4 2013 release.

Sandbox games take huge development teams now. Some idiot would've ran around screaming "I'm working on Shenmue III!"

I should've brought my shovel and boots.

Claim #17:
Virtua Fighter 6 is in development for Naomi 3. A Summer 2013 debut in expected for Japanese amusement centers.

How many Yu Suzukis are there? He's overseeing the console development, making Virtua Fighter 6, making Shenmue III...

If this were true and the console is launching in 2012, why are all the good games coming out in 2013?

Claim #18:
House of The Dead 5 is expected to debut Naomi 3.



Claim #19:
Sega is targeting a $300 launch price tag for North American Neptune debut.

This is the most reasonable thing SegaLeaks has ever posted.

Status: Probably true if any of the other shit were true.

comradesnarky, out.

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