Monday, March 28, 2011

Developing: "Professional" to be redefined

We've just received notice that two well-established words will be receiving new definitions at the request of Haneda. Zach Morris pulled some strings within Sega, which then pulled some strings within Sammy, which then pulled some strings within the Japanese government (they weren't very taut strings; the tsunami didn't effect them), which then pulled some strings in the United States government.

Professional will be changing from "following an occupation as a means of livelihood or for gain" to "nonsense, lies or exaggeration," previously the definition for bullshit.

The next word receiving a new definition is associates. Associates will be changing from "a companion or comrade" to "a dissociative disorder that is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct and complex identities or personality states each of which becomes dominant and controls behavior from time to time to the exclusion of the others," previously the definition for multiple personality disorder.

These definition changes should validate Haneda's argument with Snarky.

We've also been contacted by Christopher Columbus' ghost (who should be noted as an excellent explorer, he discovered India North America) who used his excellent navigational skills to determine that Cancun had been relocated to a "hospital."

Furthermore, Comrade Snarky's college education would like to remind SegaLeaks that the "three" of you, one of whom is a "36-year industry veteran" couldn't even scrape together $10 to buy a Go-Daddy domain name. It would be hypocritical to note that I didn't do that either, but, I'm not claiming to be professional. I'm just an internet asshole criticizing you alleged Sega employee.

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