Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Zach Morris killed in softball game

SegaReeks received word today that Zach Morris was killed in a game of softball.

Long-time SegaLeaks readers will remember a similar incident where Yu Suzuki's mother was killed in the tsunami, when she was actually just missing.

Barry Bonds weighed in on the situation saying the following:

What was that old-ass man doing playing softball and who the fuck let that wrinkled up old prune into Cancun?

Comrade Snarky weighed in as well:

No, seriously. They're going to say Zach Morris died. That's their easy out for not having any genuine info regarding this Sega console they say is coming. This is well timed since the unveil of this console is coming. Pretty sure Ringtard is going to post his condolences in the comments while chastising Holzhauer for putting an ass in the header image. On that note, I don't think anyone would care if Ringtard kicked the bucket either. He's either 25, stupid and living in his mom's basement or he's 14. Maybe like 8 or 9 actually. How could you have a problem with porn if you have any sort of genitals? I mean, you have genitals at 9 but they're not quite active yet. You have to go through puberty. I would also like to say that dying in a game of softball? It's called softball for a fucking reason. If they seriously say he dies because of this, it will be gold. I'll write a fucking script and pitch it to a studio. It's called softball because the ball is soft. That soft would be italicized, but this is already italicized. I got pegged so hard when I was playing baseball once that you could see the stitching of the ball imprinted on my fucking forehead, and I didn't even get knocked out. Granted, I wasn't a 70 year old man, or whatever the fuck they claim.

I also really like the word fuck.

More as the story develops.

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