Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Limbo of Incest: How Low Can We Go?

Today on SegaLeaks: incest.

No, seriously. Did anybody ever think about what porn involving twins is? It seems to be a widespread fantasy, and it's incest. I compel you to get a boner while looking at that, Brian Holzhauer. Then, once you have that boner, consider that those two girls were raised together as sisters, and shared their toys and several loving childhood memories. Much like you probably do with your siblings. Now look at them grinding their asses together. Now look at your... oh, it's gone now, isn't it?

Sega has announced a new game for Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network which... somehow validates SegaLeaks' claim that Sega will be abandoning physical media? I gotta tell you, I just don't see it. SegaLeaks operates like the best right wing talk radio. You take something that is fact, and then you twist it into some gruesome half-truth lie. This is exactly what the entire right wing did when Obama started working on health care reform.

Let me demonstrate:

1. Sega profits from downloadable games (Americans would like health care support)

2. Sega says that it is in their interest to publish more downloadable games (Obama says he will work on health care for Americans)

3. SegaLeaks claims that Sega will be abandoning physical media in favor of downloadable games (The right wing clai-HOLY FUCK SOCIALISM)

Here's why your idea that Sega is producing a download-only console is more fucking retarded than if I were to stick my dick in a light socket:

1. Sega has no fucking money. They have less than 2 billion dollars. I don't feel like going and getting the numbers because frankly, I don't give a flying fuck to cite my sources against a website that doesn't cite its own. If you're interested, go find Sega-Sammy's 2010 annual reports. The number is on page 62. Consider that Microsoft spent $500 million marketing Kinect in America alone. That doesn't even account for their manufacturing costs.

I was going to do more, but why should I? I want a Ferrari. I don't have enough money for a Ferrari. So I don't get a fucking Ferrari.

It's how the world works, folks. Sega doesn't have the money, so they don't get to make a new console.

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